Dr Della Suantio:做温柔的强者

Dr Della Suantio:做温柔的强者

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英国国宝级剧作家莎士比亚曾经说过,“弱者,你的名字是女人!”不过,在新加坡已故著名企业家、慈善家李成义博士的遗孀,本人也是慈善家的张治华医生(Dr Della Suantio)看来,今天的女性的角色更像是温柔的强者,具备水的各种属性,为流水时顺势而为,滋润万物;为坚冰时硬若磐石,万古不化;为气蕴时变化灵活,温婉美丽。她和李成义博士鹣鲽情深的爱情故事充满诗意和阳光,而他们对于慈善事业的执着之心足以让全社会景仰和佩服。今年9月,张治华医生接受了《时代丽智》的独家采访,分享了她在慈善事业和婚姻家庭,一路走来的人生感悟。

记者造访张治华医生的府邸时,她正在休息中。昨晚的培训,她需要专心指导一组护士如何对病患更好地施以照护——她家的一部分简直就像是一个超级的特护病房,各种设备和用具齐全,据说这里也是新加坡最先进的特护病房(ICU),由她亲自设计并主导的护理培训计划就在这里进行。年轻的护士们认真地听取她的讲解和示范,学习照护方面的最佳实践。

培训事业要耐心爱心并重

“这些女孩学得很快,也很努力。培训既是我的兴趣,也是履行我的慈善承诺的一部分,做慈善不仅仅是在经济上的给予,更多的时候是态度和行动。”本身就是医生出身的张治华,在嫁给新加坡慈善先贤李成义(Lee Seng Gee)之前,已经具备一定的专业医疗知识。

面前的张治华,那双明亮美丽的眼睛依然带着光彩,即使昼夜的培训工作让她有些疲惫。她的肌肤白里透红,言谈举止活泼而不失优雅;更难得的是,她的语速和话语,传达着鲜明的作风和专业态度。这产生一个问题,这位出身名门,嫁入望族的女人,本可以十指不沾阳春水,享受生活,为何她却要亲力亲为培训护理人员?

“在新加坡,高价钱可以请到专科医生,却很难找到专业素质的护士。我这里培训出来的护士,可以从头到脚地照护病人。”张治华给了一个简单的例子,这里接受过培训的女孩,最开始几乎没有技能背景。张治华手把手地教,从一个简单的递盘子的动作,到学会双手捧这盘子底部送给对方。因为手不会沾到盘子里面,这样更加注意卫生。

“培训不仅仅是赞助金钱这么简单的事情。对培训的耐心和忍受,有时简直要到令人哭的境地”。说到培训这些没有一技之长女孩,这其中的艰辛,张治华有讲不完的案例。

印尼有近3亿人口,但是女性的就业率和报酬远远低于男性,主要归咎于女性缺乏专业技能。张治华出生于印尼,作为李张治华基金会(D.S.Lee Foundation)创办人,她每年会赞助印尼女性来新加坡培训护理,人均赞助费用新币2.5万。因为培训的细节非常严格而琐碎,且经过她亲自手把手的教导,每年她只能招募7个学员名额。

培训为期两年,张治华为她们支付全费,却不和她们签下绑定协约。“她们可能去中东,或者为更富有的病人服务。这些严格的训练,她们将受益终身。若有人问她从哪里学来的,她一定会告诉别人是从我这里。”事实上,这些没有技能的女孩,经过两年的艰苦训练,结业时马上成为月薪2000美金抢手的护理人员,“因为市场缺乏高水准的护理人员”,张治华充满信心地补充说。

培训并不容易,要完成两年时间的培训,在张治华看来,最大的问题是学员本身的态度。 “只是为了混个零花钱,忍受不了严格的培训和我的要求,中途而废的人大有人在。” 所以,她一定要选那些勤劳、努力、好学的女性,因为基本上,培训在时间和精力上的花费比金钱的投入更可贵。

张治华谈到很多培训中的实际问题,以及她的解决方案。这不由让人感概:她不仅富在财富,更是富在人心。慈善不仅投入钱,还有爱心,亲力亲为。

名门之后家风朴实

正如培训是一种提升女性技能的慈善行为。在张治华的人生旅程中,慈善始终是一个重要的部分,融入她的血脉之中。

张治华的家族十分显赫。她的爷爷,是印尼棉兰(Medan)赫赫有名的大胶商,大慈善家张尚树(Thio Siong Soe)。史料显示,张尚树原籍中国福建省南安县人,1891年出生。1907年,张尚树来到印尼的苏门答腊岛的日里棉兰谋生。张尚树从小生意做起,生活节俭,利润累积,创办福成利有限公司,从事出入口贸易,生意远达欧美各邦,近遍南洋各埠,北至中国各大商埠,终成棉兰数一数二的商场大亨,众所敬佩的南洋巨富。旗下拥有进出口贸易、胶厂、米厂、油厂和茶园。

张尚树堪称当时名闻遐迩的爱国的华侨实业家,生性慷慨好义,对于南洋华社和祖国故乡的公益慈善事业,从不迟疑,解囊倾注巨资办学助医,曾担任棉兰名列第一的私立学校苏东中学的校董,现今中国南安市五峰中心小学,也是由张尚树于1940年捐建。

图:张治华父母的结婚照,在孙中山巨幅照片的映衬下,显示着那个年代海外华人对中国的憧憬。

张尚树有六个儿子,两个女儿,张治华的父亲张国富(Thio Koe Foe)排行第四。张国富在棉兰拥有最大椰子油工厂,他有着良好的中英文教育,而妻子则接受过荷兰语教育,夫妇俩育有七个子女(Tony, Della, Liana, Djoni, Ina, Eddy 和Airiaty),张治华是最大的女儿。张治华的外公Choo Taw Kiat和外婆是印尼娘惹人。这是一个有着华人传统且又融合了印尼文化的家族。

“爷爷一生追随国父孙中山(Sun Yat Sen)先生的医疗和教育救国理念,他给我取名为‘治华’,就是希望我今后能够学医救人。因为当时中国战乱不断,民不聊生,大众的医疗健康水平很差,”张治华缅怀祖父丰功伟绩时的声音充满了自豪感。

毫无疑问,张治华传承了祖辈朴实而伟大的家风和信念,前半生行医救人,后半生投身慈善——而正是李成义博士,这个她生命中最重要的人,进一步将她引入了终生从事社会慈善事业的殿堂。

图:张治华(左一)总是记得儿时妈妈教她和弟妹学习钢琴的温馨画面。

李成义慈善事业的化身

李成义1921年出生于新加坡,2016年辞世。他是新加坡著名银行家、华侨银行(OCBC)创始人李光前(Lee Kong Chian)的长子,被毛泽东誉为“华侨旗帜”的陈嘉庚(Tan Kah Kee)的外孙。他在1965年接过李氏基金(Lee Foundation)主席的棒子,是新加坡非常知名的企业慈善家和社区领袖。

在李成义的领导下,李氏基金对教育和艺术,以及众多社会福祉项目的捐赠不遗余力,比如,捐赠1.5亿新元给南洋理工大学(Nanyang Technological University)李光前医学院、5000万新元给新加坡管理大学(Singapore Management University),6000万新元给新加坡图书馆的李光前参考图书馆等等不胜枚举;自上世纪90年代起,他对中国厦门大学的捐赠已超过两亿人民币。

李成义在公益事业上的卓越超群表现,获得无数认可。1992年,他获颁新加坡总统授予“公共服务星章”;1993年,新加坡国家福利理事会授予第一个福利团体的最高荣誉奖“余炳亮”(Ee Peng Liang)奖。2002年,他获颁新加坡国立大学的文学博士荣誉学位;2007年,他又获得瑞银(Credit Suisse)和安永(Ernst & Young)颁发的终身成就奖,以表彰他的慈善带头精神。2009年,他获得南洋理工大学颁授文学博士荣誉学位(Degree of Doctor of Letters),主持颁授仪式的是纳丹(Nathan)总统。

张李两家是世交,李成义于1988年与张治华相爱,两人在1991年结婚。金风玉露一相逢,便胜却人间无数,这段堪称世纪情缘的婚姻,开出了最绚丽的人生之花,结出了最伟大的慈善事业之果,在新加坡和东南亚被传为佳话。

图:1991年,李成义与张治华在新加坡,也是世界最高的酒店Westin Stamford举办婚礼。至今,张治华把这张特别的婚礼证书悬挂在墙上,见证了这段终身不渝的爱情。

说到丈夫,张治华充满感触,“我们之间的感情和普通的男女情爱其实没有什么不同。但是,我们的爱中有一点是特别的,那就是我们都有造福社会的共同愿景。自从我们在一起以后,我们相互信任和依靠,找到了生活的乐趣。他为我留下了共同走过的宝贵而美好的回忆。更重要的是,我很欣赏他的远见卓识,对慈善事业的热情,他让我来传承他的慈善事业,继续帮助他人。”

有空的时候,她会翻阅那些有些共同回忆的照片。她和李成义博士的那张结婚照色彩依旧鲜艳,一切仿佛刚刚发生在昨天——说好的执子之手,与之偕老,投身慈善,回馈社会,张治华和李成义彼此都做到了。

昔人已去,流芳千古,但张治华继承了李成义的衣钵,成为他慈善事业的化身。

李张治华基金的历史使命

李氏基金在新加坡和东南亚区域闻名遐迩。张治华本身是一位医生,在丈夫的支持与鼓励下,她于2004年以丈夫赠送的结婚纪念礼物100万元美金,成立了“李张治华基金”(D.S. Lee Foundation),资助护士进修深造,致力于提升本地护士的素质及专业水平。目前该基金为新加坡和东南亚地区的护理和医疗保健领域提供了大力支持。

今年5月,张治华在李成义博士的缅怀会上,向曾经照顾过他的医护机构,捐款100万新元,用以表达感激以及社会回馈。“成义总是教导我们要回馈社会,这是尊重和缅怀他的最佳方式。我已经没有机会再听取他的意见和指导,但是他在25年的时间内已经传授给我足够的知识和经验来管理基金会。我也逐渐形成了非常明确的想法,我希望凭借基金会来一一达成。”

张治华认为,“慈善事业的外延和内涵都远远大于金钱和物质的给予,我个人可以尽一份绵薄之力,但是更需要团结社会各界来共襄义举。这是我与成义共同秉持的价值观,也是需要我们来继承和发扬的精神遗产。我希望能够尽可能地通过基金会继续回馈社会,发挥最大程度的帮助。”

值得世人效尤的婚姻爱情典范

人们都说婚姻是爱情的坟墓,含义是婚后夫妻一定会从恋爱中回到现实,因而变得俗不可耐,现实功利。不过,这样的规律在张治华和李成义这里失效了。他们的爱情,在婚姻中得到了进一步巩固,在共同的慈善事业中升华为对全社会的大爱。

“您和李先生之间最难忘的情感故事是什么?”记者好奇地问道。

“很难说出哪一个故事是我们之间最难忘的,因为我们共同的生活经历非常特别。即使与他分享最平凡的时刻也是最宝贵而难忘的。我们之间有很多难忘的事情,我回忆中最美好的时刻之一就是,当成义一直握着我的手,看着我的眼睛,浪漫地向我唱情歌。无论我们在车里,还是散步,阅读……一起工作……唱歌的时候,他都会一直握着我的手,他的手握得很紧,难舍难分。那些美丽的时刻……我想,是永远铭记于心的,”说到这里,张治华美丽的眼中有些湿润。

对于情感,张治华无时不刻表现出自己的率性和真诚。她和李成义之间爱情, 完全已经超脱家族背景的束缚和影响。

图:张治华有很多与丈夫共度时光的美好回忆。

“很多人认为,嫁入名门是荣幸的事。在我看来,最终而言,爱情是两个相互理解和扶持的人之间的美妙情感,我们不能奢求更多。当男女结婚时,这意味着上帝已经祝福了这个家庭。家庭纽带对我们而言非常重要。虽然成义后期的身体状况不是很好,但我们每年都共同庆祝他的生日,圣诞节和农历新年,在这些场合我们的亲友们都有机会欢聚一堂,构建更密切亲情,”张治华分享她的见解。

李成义博士无疑是幸运的,可以说他的人生因为张治华而圆满,他生命中最后的10年,在张治华的精心护理下,无论身体还是心灵,都得到了极大的照顾和安慰。对于这样的给予,甚至是牺牲,张治华毫无怨言,她认为这是上天赐给她的一个良机,来好好爱一个人。

“毫无疑问,如果人生可以再来一次,我仍然会作出同样的选择。在这段期间能够支持成义,是我的快乐和荣幸。虽然不是很容易,但是我尽力表达了自己对他的挚爱和奉献。我之前受过医疗培训,就好像是为我照顾他作出的天意安排”,张治华说。

“很多事情其实是命中注定的。的确,我不能选择成义不卧床不起,但我可以选择的是与他同在,同甘共苦,相濡以沫。我从来没有一点后悔,而是很高兴能够履行自己的义务,作为一个妻子,竭尽所能地照顾他,特别是当他需要我最多的时候。”

“虽然婚姻是男女结合成一个新的整体,但夫妻之间难免会有分歧,您和李博士是如何处理这样的问题?”记者继续问下去,再完美的婚姻也会有些小插曲吧?

“成义是一个谦谦君子,他很讲道理,在处理我们之间的分歧时非常明智。因为我也深爱着他,所以也会在必要的时候也有所妥协。我认为在婚姻中,意见有分歧其实是健康的。这允许我们拥有自己的个性,同时也为有趣的对话创造空间。我们都认为表达自己的真情实感很重要,但更重要的是要学会聆听。”张治华终于传授了自己和丈夫的婚姻相处之道。

她同时认为,“婚姻的重要性在于作为两个人之间爱情承诺的标志。维持婚姻绝非易事,需要极大的付出,爱和承诺。婚姻是以法律原则为指导的不断演进的传统。今天的婚姻生活过去的年代改变很大并不令人奇怪。变化是不可避免的,随着时间的推移,新一代的已婚夫妇必须面对全新的挑战和标准。”

“当然,每个人都有自己独特的生活经验。虽然有研究结果证明,幸福的婚姻造就积极健康的生活方式和长寿,但这并不意味着单身人士就没有已婚夫妇开心,”张治华的婚姻观十分包容和豁达。

女性以温和的方式来显示力量

作为女性,张治华不仅拥有智慧来管理家庭生活,她同时以自己的思想和哲学来引领着本地女性在社会活动中的前进步伐。莎士比亚曾说过,“弱者,你的名字是女人!”而在张治华看来,女性能够以安静和温和的方式来显示自己的力量。内在的力量有时比外在的力量来得更加强大。

“在现实中,男女都有自己的优势和局限。与男性相比,我相信,在关系建立,协作,目标设定,自我发展,团队动力和激励方面,我们女性是更好的领导者,更有能力。”

同时,她认为现今社会女性受到更高的教育是社会取得成功的基石。“我非常相信教育的功用,在现代社会中,妇女有更多的机会取得成功,并与男性在成就上平起平坐。我们的社会需要作为整体来取得进步,体认到女性的全部价值,并鼓励妇女进入自己的角色。另一方面,我们现在身处一个现代社会,一些华人女性理应保有的传统价值观,如仁,义,礼,忠和孝也应该不断与时俱进,不要停息。我们需要在事物之间取得适当和平衡的协调——就像阴阳调和一样。”

她进一步从哲学意义上做了说明:“相反或相对的力量在自然世界中实际上可能是互补的,相互关联的,相互依存的,彼此是相生相灭又相辅相成的。无论如何,妇女接受更多的教育实实在在地为我们今天的社会成功做出了积极贡献。例如,因为受过良好教育,女性具备更大的收入潜力,能够为世界经济做出巨大贡献。

张治华也认为女性能够适应变革,并有聪明才智来管理变革。但更重要的是,她们应该忠于自己本人和自己的价值观。“虽然我们的社会的文化还是主要由男性主导,但如果我们比较过去,我们实际上可以看到已经有很多改变。今天,我们可以看到新加坡涌现了很多女性领导人。 一个非常好的例子是我们尊敬的总统,哈丽玛-雅各布(Halimah Yacob)阁下。”

“尽管面临挑战,承担领导角色和责任的女性通常会意志更加坚决,并选择持之以恒。能够在逆境中取得成功地说明了一个女人的性格和韧性。”

关于张治华医生(Dr Della Suantio Lee

婚姻是实现爱情的承诺

张治华医生是印尼华裔,印尼棉兰(Medan)知名慈善家张尚树的孙女。她和新加坡知名慈善家李氏基金会创始人李成义博士在1991年结婚。在结婚之前,她是以救人为使命的医生;结婚之后,她则把全部的精力和时间,协助丈夫管理李氏基金(The Lee Foundation)。

在丈夫的支持与鼓励下,张治华于2004年以丈夫赠送的结婚纪念礼物100万元美金,成立了“李张治华基金”(D.S. Lee Foundation),资助护士进修深造,致力于提升本地护士的素质及专业水平。该基金于2006年设立了“陈振传护士奖”,表扬工作表现杰出的助理护士,以及纪念华侨银行前主席陈振传(Tan Chin Tuan)对社会所做出的贡献。今年11月,张治华颁发了第11届“陈振传护士奖”。

2011年,“李张治华基金”对厦门大学音乐厅的建设给予了极大的支持,慷慨捐赠了37万新币,其中30万新币用于音乐厅装修,7万新币用于设立厦门大学艺术学院李成义—张治华奖学金。2012年,《李成义-张治华音乐厅》在厦门落成。2014年,张治华-李成义大厅(Della and Seng Gee Guild Hall)在新加坡国立大学命名揭幕。

李成义博士在2016年5月去世。张治华为其夫守丧一年,深居简出。在今年5月的缅怀会上,她又捐出100万新元,回馈医疗机构的支持。通过继承李成义的遗志,张治华实现了对爱情的承诺。

PART II

Exclusive Interview with Dr Della Suantio

Gentle soul, Tenacious mind

Shakespeare once wrote, “Frailty, thy name is woman!” However, in the eyes of Dr Della Suantio, the spouse of the late Dr Lee Seng Gee, this is certainly not true. She believes that women can be as strong as men in their own quiet and gentle way – inner strength is sometimes more powerful than physical force. This November, Dr Della Suantio, the founder of the D.S. Lee Foundation, accepted an exclusive interview by Her Times, and she shared her experience in, and personal philosophy about, the journey of life, marriage, and philanthropy.

HT: What are some of the memorable times you had with the late Dr. Lee SG? Could you share those precious moments with our readers? 

Della: It is hard to pick any particular moment as our lives had always felt so special. Even ordinary moments which I shared with him are precious and memorable.

We had many memorable moments and certainly there are some significant ones. One of the most memorable was when Seng Gee held my hands and looked into my eyes while singing romantic love songs to me. Wherever we were, for instance, in the car, walking, reading, working together, singing, he would be holding my hands. His grips were very strong, as if he never wanted to let go. Those were beautiful moments ….. I shall forever cherish them to eternity.

HT: You got married in 1991, but Dr. Lee SG was quite bedridden during last 10 years. We know you spent a lot of time looking after him. Considering how else you could have spent this decade, how do you feel about your decision to marry Dr. Lee? And if you were to choose again, would you make the same decision?

Della: Without a doubt, I would do it again. Being able to support him during this period was my joy and privilege. While it has not been easy, it was my expression of love and devotion to him. In addition, as I was trained as a medical doctor, it seemed as if it was a divine arrangement for me to look after him. Things happen for a reason.

I wanted to be with him in sickness and in health, share laughter as well as tears, and stay by his side for the rest of “our lives together”. I am pleased to be able to fulfil my duty as a wife and look after him to the best that I possibly could, especially at the time he needed me the most. There is no question of regret.

HT: Dr. Lee SG was born in a big and reputable family. How did you manage the image of being ‘married to a man, married to a family’?

Della: What we have between the two of us was truly special, even it was in the context of a big family. There was joy to be in a big family but ultimately love is between two people. We understand and support each other, we cannot ask for more.

When a woman is married to a man, or a man is married to a woman, it means that GOD has added an asset to the family. Family is important.

We had very close family bonds. Though Seng Gee was not well, he was not totally bedridden except for the last year before he passed on. Hence, we celebrated his birthday, as well as Christmas and Chinese New Year every year so that our family and friends could meet up, and get together.

HT: Please share with us how you both worked so well together? How did you both compromise on differences and opinions?

Della: Mr Lee was a very gentle and reasonable man. He was very wise in managing our differences. I loved him for that and also gave in when necessary.

In marriage, having a difference of opinions can be healthy. It allows us to keep our own individuality and at the same time create room for interesting conversations. We both believe that, while it was important to speak our hearts, it was more important to listen.

HT: In Chinese culture, the common values held to be ideal for women tend to be out of date in modern society. Do you think it is possible to integrate such ideas in society today? How do you think the greater availability of education for women has impacted our success as a society?

Della: I strongly believe in education in helping to develop society and paving the way for social progress. As a result of the greater availability of education for women, women are getting more opportunities to succeed and be equal to men in any accomplishment. We need to recognise the full value of women and encourage women to step up to their place in the global community. The greater availability of education for women has indeed brought positive improvement to the success of our society today. With good education, women possess greater potential of higher income and they are able to contribute greatly to the world economy.

At the same time, not all traditional values are irrelevant or outdated today. Some common values which are held to be ideal for women in Chinese culture – such as benevolence, righteousness, courtesy, loyalty and filial piety – remain important and desirable and should be constantly promoted and inculcated in all.

HT: How do you think the image of marriage has changed in the modern days? With an increasing rate of divorces and single parents, is tradition necessary?

Della: Marriage is an important family institution – it is a sign of commitment between two people in love. It is not easy to keep a marriage together and it needs a lot of effort to do so with love and commitment.

Marriage is an evolutionary tradition that is guided by legal principles. It’s no secret that marriage is a lot different today than it was in the past. Change is inevitable, and as time progresses, each new generation of married couple has to navigate a fresh set of distinct challenges and parameters.

Having said that, every individual has their unique life experiences. While there are research findings to prove that a happy marriage leads to positive well-being and life-longevity, this does not mean that single parents are less happier than married couples.

HT: As a woman, is it difficult to manage change or uncertainty, especially in a male dominated society?

Della: I believe a woman must be adaptable and clever to manage change. But more importantly, she should be true to herself and her values.

Although our society is largely male dominated, we can actually see a lot of differences if we compare between now and then. Today, we have many women leaders in Singapore. One very good example is our dear President, Her Excellency, Madam Halimah Yacob.

Despite the challenges, a woman who accepts leadership and responsible roles usually develops strong will (tough skin) and chooses to persevere. If a woman can prove that change is good for betterment, certainly she would be able to garner support from the people around her.

To succeed, in spite of adversity, says a lot about a woman’s character and tenacity.

HT: You made a donation of S$1M on the memory anniversary of late Lee SG. Why you chose to make this donation?

Della: Mr Lee inspires me all the time to give back to the society and this is the best way to honour and remember him. This is also an expression of my gratitude to all the doctors, specialists, and healthcare personnel who took care of Dr Lee SG – the team of MOH, BME, HSA, DDR, MMD, Singhealth, Mt Elizabeth and Gleneagles and some private clinics. They were devoted and were ready to offer assistance and help 24/7.

In particular, the medical team who were with Mr Lee SG served him with utmost dedication and love. The donation was made in honour of all these committed professors and doctors. It is also recognition for those who recommended that I support LSG Appreciation Fund for Faculty Development (Medicine) and LSG Medical Bursary perpetually.

HT: You established D.S. LEE Foundation in 2004. How challenging is to manage this organization after the passing of Dr. Lee?

Della: I miss his opinion and guidance but he has taught me enough over the 25 years to allow me to manage the Foundation. I also have very clear ideas what I hope to achieve with the Foundation.

HT: What has D.S. Lee foundation achieved in past 13 years?

Della: We have given a lot to worthy causes such as nursing and healthcare. I am looking to expand our support in areas related to nurses. D.S. Lee Foundation works closely with the Ministry of Health to understand the needs of the healthcare sector. My Foundation is funded fully by my personal funds and my own company, DSLSG Investment Co. We like to support these worthy causes from the bottom of our hearts.

HT: We understand that philanthropy is to give. What is the satisfaction of giving? How challenging is it to make a decision? Is it a lonely journey?

Della: I have advisors to help me make giving decisions. But, ultimately, the decisions lie with me and I have to decide the directions of the Foundation and how best to help when others come calling.

We do not expect any reward but knowing that I can make a difference is a big achievement. This is a value I strongly share with Mr Lee. I would hope to be able to continue to give back to the society as much as I can.

At the same time, philanthropy is not about giving alone as a lone donor or benefactor. We can, and should, not be travelling alone on this journey. We all share it together.

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